Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
