so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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