hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
