Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
