Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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