jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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