I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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