8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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