How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
