god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i drank out of a bidet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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