my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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