How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize