the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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