I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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