i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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