There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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