Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
