It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
