I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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