whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
