I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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