Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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