when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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