Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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