dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
