Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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