also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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