i'm signing you up for texting rehab
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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