it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
