I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
