people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
