Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You smell like stripper and shame
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
