What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
