I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
