Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize