and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Holy sore nipples Batman
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
