Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
