its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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