You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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