forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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