Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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