just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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