you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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