are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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