so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
