Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
