Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
