i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
