Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
