Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
