God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
