ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
