He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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