I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize