Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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