You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
