Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
