i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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