I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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