i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
