You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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