508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
