Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
