guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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