Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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(757): View more from Virginia

Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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(772): View more from Florida

Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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(501): View more from Arkansas

If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...

(804): View more from Virginia

It's called: a legit place to drop acid.

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(716): View more from New York

We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers

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