Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
