For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
