i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
